








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 195 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3311 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2964 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1964 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2440 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $617,249 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djtl | 46% | 37 |
| #2 | ChelsBells | 44% | 36 |
| #3 | expo | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | Hatty | 44% | 32 |
| #5 | Parrish | 43% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Parrish | 43% | 145 |
| #6 | mills | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | Clxtch | 36% | 14 |
| #8 | tally63 | 33% | 12 |
| #9 | ⛟ | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clxtch | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djtl | 225 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #2 | Parrish | 154 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | mills | 123 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hatty | 108 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | ChelsBells | 98 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mills | +3.75 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | expo | +2.08 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | tally63 | +0.59 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | Hatty | +0.50 | 75 | 78 |
| #5 | djtl | +0.27 | 61 | 57 |





