








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 154 matches | ||
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3906 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3333 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2149 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3263 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,022,122 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 553 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eSky | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Jawlchi | 56% | 52 |
| #3 | SHDYNASTY | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Hatty | 53% | 107 |
| #5 | Bread Man (Zimsss) | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Arch3r | 45% | 38 |
| #11 | Sto0kerz | 44% | 36 |
| #12 | MrXsinity | 44% | 32 |
| #13 | Ceai | 43% | 21 |
| #14 | Parrish | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puppygirl ❤ | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Sto0kerz | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | guy hanukah | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Bread Man (Zimsss) | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | MrXsinity | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hatty | 333 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | puppygirl ❤ | 293 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | expo | 286 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | guy hanukah | 285 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | Sto0kerz | 247 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bread Man (Zimsss) | +2.65 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | Arch3r | +1.64 | 71 | 45 |
| #3 | eSky | +1.62 | 75 | 47 |
| #4 | RGood | +1.23 | 71 | 73 |
| #5 | expo | +1.23 | 73 | 63 |





