








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 780 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1324 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 490 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1297 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,511,445 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dissonant | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | EL REDEEMED | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Bappith Maximus | 48% | 88 |
| #4 | Dr.Gondy | 47% | 332 |
| #5 | ttfreckles | 46% | 297 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | EL REDEEMED | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Bappith Maximus | 48% | 88 |
| #4 | Dr.Gondy | 47% | 332 |
| #5 | ttfreckles | 46% | 297 |
| #6 | Birdy Baghdaddy | 18% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.Gondy | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | ttfreckles | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Bappith Maximus | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Dissonant | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | EL REDEEMED | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.Gondy | 881 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #2 | Bappith Maximus | 164 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | ttfreckles | 123 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #4 | EL REDEEMED | 83 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dissonant | 70 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dissonant | +5.50 | 58 | 51 |
| #2 | KingFeatured | +2.56 | 84 | 39 |
| #3 | Birdy Baghdaddy | +1.53 | 29 | 46 |
| #4 | Dr.Gondy | +0.39 | 36 | 66 |
| #5 | EL REDEEMED | -1.89 | 49 | 32 |





