










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1351 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1238 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 620 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 939 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,022,767 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dissonant | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | Bliv | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | andrew | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | KingFeatured | 48% | 88 |
| #5 | Dr.Gondy | 47% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Shkzy | 42% | 33 |
| #9 | EL REDEEMED | 42% | 88 |
| #10 | ☩ 𝕤𝓟ℛ𝓩𝟠 ☩ | 41% | 61 |
| #11 | Silly Samuel | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | Trekt_GetRekt | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL REDEEMED | 16 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Dr.Gondy | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | KingFeatured | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | andrew | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Shkzy | 4 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.Gondy | 410 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | EL REDEEMED | 229 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | andrew | 144 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shkzy | 115 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | ☩ 𝕤𝓟ℛ𝓩𝟠 ☩ | 66 | 0.05 | 1 min |





