








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6222 | 37% |
| Smokes | 6048 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2955 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1669 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $737,589 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL REDEEMED | 57% | 51 |
| #2 | Dissonant | 54% | 108 |
| #3 | Bappith Maximus | 47% | 123 |
| #4 | ttfreckles | 47% | 429 |
| #5 | KingFeatured | 47% | 332 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dissonant | 54% | 108 |
| #3 | Bappith Maximus | 47% | 123 |
| #4 | ttfreckles | 47% | 429 |
| #5 | KingFeatured | 47% | 332 |
| #6 | Birdy Baghdaddy | 24% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingFeatured | 18 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ttfreckles | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Dissonant | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | EL REDEEMED | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Bappith Maximus | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingFeatured | 215 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #2 | Bappith Maximus | 207 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dissonant | 172 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | ttfreckles | 157 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #5 | EL REDEEMED | 140 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dissonant | +5.32 | 58 | 54 |
| #2 | KingFeatured | +2.99 | 85 | 38 |
| #3 | Birdy Baghdaddy | +1.96 | 30 | 47 |
| #4 | Dr.Gondy | +0.43 | 36 | 67 |
| #5 | EL REDEEMED | -1.09 | 52 | 34 |





