








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 779 | 43% |
| Smokes | 427 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 476 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 113 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,062 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dirtywibs | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Rabittz | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | Richard Jerkmann | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | 3nymets3 | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | dirtyhow | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rabittz | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | Richard Jerkmann | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | 3nymets3 | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | dirtyhow | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | BoiWithout" " | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabittz | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | 3nymets3 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | BoiWithout" " | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3nymets3 | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Rabittz | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Richard Jerkmann | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | BoiWithout" " | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | dirtyhow | 16 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dirtyhow | +3.86 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | Richard Jerkmann | +0.52 | 52 | 46 |
| #3 | Rabittz | +0.23 | 48 | 52 |
| #4 | dirtywibs | +0.13 | 48 | 71 |
| #5 | ✪nagirroC✪ | -0.83 | 41 | 58 |





