








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 597 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 179 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1492 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2324 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3897 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3076 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,573,636 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1083 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 3nymets3 | 47% | 159 |
| #10 | Daddy Wet | 46% | 28 |
| #11 | AmAtos | 45% | 80 |
| #12 | I Am Steven Burger | 42% | 31 |
| #13 | BoiWithout" " | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dirtyhow | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Jean | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | I Am Steven Burger | 8 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | BoiWithout" " | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Rabittz | 4 | 0.0011 |





