








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3090 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3354 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4842 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3901 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $463,941 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪nagirroC✪ | 53% | 49 |
| #2 | dirtywibs | 52% | 89 |
| #3 | Richard Jerkmann | 47% | 159 |
| #4 | dirtyhow | 46% | 173 |
| #5 | Rabittz | 46% | 275 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dirtyhow | 46% | 173 |
| #5 | Rabittz | 46% | 275 |
| #6 | MotherGoose | 42% | 98 |
| #7 | BoiWithout" " | 41% | 66 |
| #8 | AmAtos | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabittz | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | dirtyhow | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | BoiWithout" " | 9 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | MotherGoose | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Richard Jerkmann | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dirtyhow | 576 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Rabittz | 282 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪nagirroC✪ | 203 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Richard Jerkmann | 156 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | MotherGoose | 72 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dirtyhow | +3.83 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | Richard Jerkmann | +0.70 | 53 | 49 |
| #3 | Rabittz | -0.19 | 47 | 52 |
| #4 | 3nymets3 | -0.65 | 42 | 61 |
| #5 | dirtywibs | -0.79 | 35 | 52 |





