








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 297 | 17% |
| Smokes | 594 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 523 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 335 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,887 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qwertz | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | N1k | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | Paletten-Baron | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Skylow^ | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Zenitsu Agatsuma | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Skylow^ | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Zenitsu Agatsuma | 47% | 55 |
| #6 | Seismek♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿ | 46% | 54 |
| #7 | Oxy1 | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | Sky^ | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zenitsu Agatsuma | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Paletten-Baron | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Skylow^ | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seismek♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿♿ | 93 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Zenitsu Agatsuma | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Paletten-Baron | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | N1k | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Skylow^ | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skylow^ | +4.05 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | Sky^ | +3.86 | 48 | 53 |
| #3 | Oxy1 | +1.92 | 90 | 42 |
| #4 | qwertz | +1.49 | 78 | 69 |
| #5 | N1k | +0.06 | 68 | 59 |





