








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 774 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2976 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3162 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3129 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3588 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $857,992 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Vigga | 56% | 303 |
| #9 | Rammster | 56% | 18 |
| #10 | Hakki | 54% | 122 |
| #11 | Nikolai | 52% | 251 |
| #12 | kQrsfarereN | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vigga | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Nikolai | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Hakki | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | sherman | 9 | 0.0141 |
| #5 | tomi | 7 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vigga | 1331 | 0.21 | 41 min |
| #2 | Nikolai | 491 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Hakki | 440 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | tomi | 381 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #5 | rns | 284 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sherman | +2.75 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | Norways | +2.44 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | artstyle-iwnl | +1.86 | 80 | 48 |
| #4 | Vikkern N T C | +1.47 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | Vigga | +0.94 | 73 | 70 |





