








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 930 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 232 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6666 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4568 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4521 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4570 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,282,684 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 513 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koalian | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | Merka | 68% | 28 |
| #3 | cete | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | Flo | 56% | 435 |
| #5 | Nils | 55% | 348 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nils | 55% | 348 |
| #6 | gnad1.0 | 55% | 196 |
| #7 | niklasf1 | 53% | 212 |
| #8 | NachtschattN | 52% | 269 |
| #9 | Cylock | 48% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 17 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Nils | 17 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | NachtschattN | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | niklasf1 | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | gnad1.0 | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 1315 | 0.15 | 34 min |
| #2 | NachtschattN | 1067 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #3 | Nils | 846 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #4 | gnad1.0 | 669 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #5 | niklasf1 | 613 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koalian | +1.32 | 85 | 54 |
| #2 | cete | +1.15 | 78 | 70 |
| #3 | Flo | +1.05 | 70 | 65 |
| #4 | Nils | +0.99 | 82 | 66 |
| #5 | niklasf1 | +0.57 | 81 | 65 |





