








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2419 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2350 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1414 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1725 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,316 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JacobTOG | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | FR4GMASTER | 69% | 51 |
| #3 | sodium_lord | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | Sheepy | 57% | 49 |
| #5 | WooTs | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | hEN3SY | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | Stairsy | 46% | 24 |
| #11 | Matt Hunger | 45% | 31 |
| #12 | scorch- | 43% | 14 |
| #13 | viN | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JacobTOG | 8 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Stairsy | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | FR4GMASTER | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | hEN3SY | 3 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | WooTs | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sodium_lord | 173 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Stairsy | 117 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | Matt Hunger | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | WooTs | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | scorch- | 50 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JacobTOG | +4.34 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | hEN3SY | +3.07 | 92 | 42 |
| #3 | sodium_lord | +2.86 | 61 | 64 |
| #4 | Dirty Dan | +2.09 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | Stairsy | +1.31 | 61 | 61 |





