








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 560 | 21% |
| Smokes | 978 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 565 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 602 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $400,538 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FooDogGod | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | brians daddy | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | Trill God | 57% | 72 |
| #4 | CHARIZARD VMAX | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | BLUUPER | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | ⭕⃤ | 42% | 24 |
| #13 | BBBBB | 41% | 32 |
| #14 | Jobu Tupaki | 33% | 12 |
| #15 | MONTANA | 31% | 13 |
| #16 | 1tapmachine | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHARIZARD VMAX | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | jlingotsetup | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Trill God | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | BBBBB | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | brians daddy | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brians daddy | +3.11 | 74 | 50 |
| #2 | penis soup | +2.93 | 78 | 42 |
| #3 | Trill God | -0.01 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ | -0.15 | 31 | 62 |
| #5 | Gamsahabmida | -0.51 | 68 | 73 |





