








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 599 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4565 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4673 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3521 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3130 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $523,962 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Genano | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | Rev | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Wistiq | 54% | 97 |
| #4 | JB | 53% | 47 |
| #5 | Patropro [KSK] | 51% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Snake Plissken | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | JALLA | 48% | 84 |
| #8 | w1nted | 47% | 38 |
| #9 | Dutch_Ducks | 46% | 175 |
| #10 | Dingleberry Handpump | 44% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dutch_Ducks | 22 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Dingleberry Handpump | 22 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Wistiq | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | JALLA | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | w1nted | 7 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wistiq | 271 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | JALLA | 213 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Patropro [KSK] | 188 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dutch_Ducks | 126 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | w1nted | 116 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JB | +5.98 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | Hessel | +1.52 | 66 | 60 |
| #3 | Rev | +0.98 | 83 | 52 |
| #4 | Dingleberry Handpump | +0.19 | 48 | 35 |
| #5 | Dutch_Ducks | -0.71 | 53 | 39 |





