








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 636 | 19% |
| Smokes | 861 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 993 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 847 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $845,112 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Disabled Jimmy | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | ByReckwey | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | Zylexus | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Cookie Muncher | 60% | 58 |
| #5 | DjDragon | 57% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Knight of Blades, Sir Rated | 49% | 111 |
| #11 | ReconSquirrel | 43% | 44 |
| #12 | tHAtGuY | 38% | 68 |
| #13 | AnuvaGamerGirl | 33% | 12 |
| #14 | Darktomatoes | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danny | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Cookie Muncher | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | DjDragon | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | tHAtGuY | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Knight of Blades, Sir Rated | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DjDragon | 341 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | tHAtGuY | 177 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Cookie Muncher | 158 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Knight of Blades, Sir Rated | 139 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Danny | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zylexus | +3.61 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Fozzy | +3.23 | 75 | 47 |
| #3 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | +1.47 | 68 | 77 |
| #4 | Danny | +0.80 | 48 | 60 |
| #5 | Honey | +0.74 | 57 | 41 |





