








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6042 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5856 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5552 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3709 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,379,016 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fozzy | 57% | 141 |
| #2 | Danny | 57% | 165 |
| #3 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | Honey | 50% | 131 |
| #5 | tHAtGuY | 48% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Darktomatoes | 42% | 88 |
| #12 | manofgras ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 42% | 43 |
| #13 | AnuvaGamerGirl | 37% | 112 |
| #14 | Cory kaljaa | 34% | 41 |
| #15 | ReconSquirrel | 33% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tHAtGuY | 16 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Fozzy | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | ByReckwey | 13 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Danny | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | ReconSquirrel | 9 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tHAtGuY | 429 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Cookie Muncher | 423 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Spiceunit | 352 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Knight of Blades, Sir Rated | 324 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | 289 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fozzy | +3.30 | 75 | 46 |
| #2 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | +3.07 | 74 | 73 |
| #3 | Honey | +2.28 | 63 | 40 |
| #4 | Danny | +1.02 | 48 | 63 |
| #5 | DjDragon | +0.67 | 60 | 75 |





