








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 290 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4433 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4646 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3369 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3892 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,328,657 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MysticalWafflez | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | duf | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | Chand3mic | 63% | 64 |
| #4 | ηicky | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | Ja$on | 55% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | duf | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | Chand3mic | 63% | 64 |
| #4 | ηicky | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | Ja$on | 55% | 60 |
| #6 | CSGORage.com | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chand3mic | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | duf | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | MysticalWafflez | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | ηicky | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chand3mic | 198 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | MysticalWafflez | 169 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ja$on | 134 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ηicky | 127 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | CSGORage.com | 94 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | duf | +2.30 | 76 | 50 |
| #2 | Chand3mic | +1.49 | 72 | 74 |
| #3 | ηicky | +1.01 | 61 | 69 |
| #4 | MysticalWafflez | +0.79 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | Ja$on | -0.24 | 75 | 65 |





