








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 876 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 152 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4942 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7303 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7525 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4372 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,386,094 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5882 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | twitch.tv/BinaryHorizon | 29% | 58 |
| #14 | justhoohaa | 28% | 67 |
| #15 | M1sterChaos | 28% | 67 |
| #16 | trooser | 28% | 294 |
| #17 | Fricks | 28% | 64 |





