








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
663 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 969 | 41% |
| Smokes | 685 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 162 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 560 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $96,535 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ぶた | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | sorairo | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | hbnr | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | kou | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | mayuyu | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | 大いなるクリオネ | 50% | 10 |
| #9 | nenenebtbt | 44% | 27 |
| #10 | Dial | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | bucci | 25% | 4 |
| #12 | 全国一ノ歯茎王 | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nenenebtbt | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Dial | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Don't Stop Believin' | 1 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | kou | 1 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nenenebtbt | 106 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Dial | 75 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | siX | 53 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | 全国一ノ歯茎王 | 49 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | bucci | 41 | 0.56 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hbnr | +2.68 | 69 | 60 |
| #2 | nenenebtbt | +2.25 | 73 | 68 |
| #3 | 大いなるクリオネ | +1.27 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | ヨネハライスシャワー | +1.17 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | ぶた | +1.10 | 79 | 48 |





