








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4916 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4597 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3597 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4366 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $790,296 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kig | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | hbnr | 51% | 151 |
| #3 | ヨネハライスシャワー | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | mayuyu | 43% | 90 |
| #5 | MacchoMachico | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ハイエース | 37% | 67 |
| #7 | INOP | 36% | 28 |
| #8 | Madele | 35% | 62 |
| #9 | Suw | 35% | 75 |
| #10 | tan4 | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hbnr | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Suw | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ハイエース | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | MacchoMachico | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Madele | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hbnr | 456 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | mayuyu | 319 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | MacchoMachico | 182 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Madele | 159 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | ハイエース | 142 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ヨネハライスシャワー | +1.81 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | Suw | +1.61 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | MacchoMachico | +0.83 | 70 | 57 |
| #4 | Dial | +0.53 | 48 | 71 |
| #5 | hbnr | +0.07 | 69 | 59 |





