








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1908 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1599 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1989 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1906 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $617,736 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nenenebtbt | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | sorairo | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Don't Stop Believin' | 59% | 58 |
| #4 | ヨネハライスシャワー | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | MacchoMachico | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Suw | 41% | 22 |
| #11 | Franky | 40% | 47 |
| #12 | ハイエース | 40% | 15 |
| #13 | kig | 38% | 13 |
| #14 | hbnr | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dial | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Don't Stop Believin' | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | tomo | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Franky | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Madele | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dial | 370 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Don't Stop Believin' | 221 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Franky | 110 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dial | 90 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Madele | 89 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ヨネハライスシャワー | +2.47 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | Dial | +2.44 | 47 | 72 |
| #3 | nenenebtbt | +1.37 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | Don't Stop Believin' | +0.85 | 74 | 56 |
| #5 | MacchoMachico | +0.64 | 67 | 61 |





