








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 591 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4104 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6060 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4754 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5105 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,563,757 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cloudwalker | 48% | 258 |
| #2 | conqqy | 47% | 125 |
| #3 | kin3tix | 47% | 185 |
| #4 | A1kaline | 46% | 235 |
| #5 | 1ckd | 46% | 328 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | LexG | 43% | 61 |
| #10 | Named King | 42% | 69 |
| #11 | jpz | 41% | 118 |
| #12 | Future Hendrix | 40% | 63 |
| #13 | jsc_xD | 39% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloodrich | 18 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | A1kaline | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | cloudwalker | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | kin3tix | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | kristi yamaguccimane | 5 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloodrich | 1516 | 0.16 | 49 min |
| #2 | 1ckd | 1262 | 0.18 | 28 min |
| #3 | kristi yamaguccimane | 814 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #4 | jsc_xD | 563 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #5 | A1kaline | 509 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1ckd | +1.53 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | Bloodrich | +1.35 | 52 | 76 |
| #3 | nospoon | +0.86 | 74 | 38 |
| #4 | cloudwalker | +0.41 | 60 | 55 |
| #5 | A1kaline | +0.14 | 75 | 59 |





