








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 768 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11220 | 34% |
| Smokes | 8833 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6792 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5997 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,241,971 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | voltzy | 48% | 75 |
| #2 | Bloodrich | 47% | 526 |
| #3 | kristi yamaguccimane | 47% | 182 |
| #4 | Suck a Foo | 46% | 328 |
| #5 | A1kaline | 46% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Named King | 44% | 79 |
| #12 | nospoon | 43% | 74 |
| #13 | Future Hendrix | 43% | 167 |
| #14 | conqqy | 43% | 159 |
| #15 | LexG | 41% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloodrich | 19 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | cloudwalker | 15 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | jsc_xD | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | A1kaline | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | kin3tix | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloodrich | 1853 | 0.17 | 57 min |
| #2 | jsc_xD | 1029 | 0.17 | 30 min |
| #3 | cloudwalker | 683 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #4 | jpz | 606 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | Suck a Foo | 496 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1ckd | +1.28 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | Bloodrich | +0.84 | 52 | 75 |
| #3 | voltzy | +0.55 | 85 | 56 |
| #4 | cloudwalker | +0.16 | 65 | 56 |
| #5 | jpz | -0.17 | 70 | 45 |





