








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 462 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6126 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7322 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3461 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5420 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,292,719 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nospoon | 57% | 69 |
| #2 | conqqy | 52% | 61 |
| #3 | LexG | 49% | 57 |
| #4 | cloudwalker | 48% | 211 |
| #5 | ItzaHoudini | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Bloodrich | 44% | 386 |
| #11 | Named King | 43% | 37 |
| #12 | kin3tix | 43% | 204 |
| #13 | Future Hendrix | 41% | 34 |
| #14 | jsc_xD | 39% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloodrich | 20 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | kin3tix | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | cloudwalker | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | A1kaline | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | 1ckd | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloodrich | 1405 | 0.17 | 45 min |
| #2 | 1ckd | 634 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | Suck a Foo | 561 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #4 | A1kaline | 438 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | cloudwalker | 419 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nospoon | +2.42 | 74 | 42 |
| #2 | Bloodrich | +1.66 | 50 | 76 |
| #3 | 1ckd | +1.52 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | A1kaline | +0.21 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | cloudwalker | +0.13 | 58 | 56 |





