








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 301 matches | ||
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6223 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4111 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5662 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4422 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,223,524 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 478 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PP-RCKFLA | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Fin | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | slegga | 57% | 120 |
| #4 | ✪ Aspeladden | 57% | 92 |
| #5 | JOOMPAAAAAAA | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | HbG | 53% | 348 |
| #7 | Solzet | 53% | 333 |
| #8 | TazPig | 53% | 370 |
| #9 | Lasertuurken | 52% | 58 |
| #10 | Meluksli | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TazPig | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | HbG | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | ✪ Aspeladden | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Solzet | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | JOOMPAAAAAAA | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HbG | 1263 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | Solzet | 908 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #3 | TazPig | 798 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #4 | slegga | 583 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #5 | Lasertuurken | 327 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meluksli | +2.58 | 71 | 57 |
| #2 | slegga | +2.56 | 86 | 72 |
| #3 | ✪ Aspeladden | +1.71 | 89 | 61 |
| #4 | TazPig | +1.06 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | Lasertuurken | -0.25 | 78 | 63 |





