








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 657 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 420 matches | ||
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7510 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7600 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8891 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6337 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,208,873 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 519 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | razeh | 60% | 112 |
| #2 | Christian Clarence | 58% | 62 |
| #3 | Lasertuurken | 57% | 110 |
| #4 | slegga | 57% | 139 |
| #5 | Fin | 57% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | TazPig | 54% | 717 |
| #9 | HbG | 53% | 602 |
| #10 | QU1TY^x | 53% | 333 |
| #11 | JOOMPAAAAAAA | 51% | 71 |
| #12 | ✪ Aspeladden | 50% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HbG | 15 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | TazPig | 7 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | ✪ Aspeladden | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | QU1TY^x | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Meluksli | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HbG | 2217 | 0.17 | 51 min |
| #2 | TazPig | 1620 | 0.11 | 45 min |
| #3 | QU1TY^x | 1190 | 0.16 | 39 min |
| #4 | Meluksli | 739 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #5 | slegga | 621 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slegga | +2.39 | 83 | 72 |
| #2 | Meluksli | +1.97 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | ✪ Aspeladden | +1.33 | 90 | 61 |
| #4 | TazPig | +1.29 | 85 | 60 |
| #5 | Solzet | -0.01 | 77 | 71 |





