








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 670 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3583 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4625 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3544 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2977 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $798,664 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tr4k1 | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | kaktusz | 57% | 92 |
| #3 | Rudas | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | GSektor | 52% | 104 |
| #5 | Marcus | 50% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | steveemeisteR >.< | 44% | 27 |
| #12 | ツSupraPEEKツßE/\//\/Y | 43% | 35 |
| #13 | siginho | 42% | 100 |
| #14 | sus fis | 41% | 29 |
| #15 | nyomod | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaktusz | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | GSektor | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | nyomod | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | eLem | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Marcus | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marcus | 624 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | GSektor | 331 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | kaktusz | 311 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | ツSupraPEEKツßE/\//\/Y | 139 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | steveemeisteR >.< | 122 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steveemeisteR >.< | +2.72 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | GSektor | +1.45 | 76 | 72 |
| #3 | tr4k1 | +1.18 | 73 | 72 |
| #4 | ツSupraPEEKツßE/\//\/Y | +0.70 | 68 | 72 |
| #5 | kaktusz | +0.64 | 78 | 61 |





