








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 880 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1203 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 916 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 517 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,747 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boogiebenny | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Filth | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | riskyray | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | Yesu | 45% | 88 |
| #5 | averageausty | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | riskyray | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | Yesu | 45% | 88 |
| #5 | averageausty | 45% | 60 |
| #6 | dandydave | 44% | 59 |
| #7 | Doubledinker | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dandydave | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | averageausty | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | riskyray | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Filth | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Yesu | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | averageausty | 218 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | dandydave | 191 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | riskyray | 191 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Yesu | 152 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Doubledinker | 151 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kookykev | +1.85 | 71 | 49 |
| #2 | riskyray | +0.29 | 61 | 65 |
| #3 | boogiebenny | -0.08 | 62 | 67 |
| #4 | Filth | -0.08 | 68 | 50 |
| #5 | Yesu | -0.40 | 47 | 52 |





