








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 430 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4057 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5564 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3536 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4034 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,115,189 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doubledinker | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | kookykev | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | dandydave | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | boogiebenny | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | averageausty | 45% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kookykev | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | dandydave | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | boogiebenny | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | averageausty | 45% | 66 |
| #6 | Yesu | 44% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dandydave | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Yesu | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | averageausty | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | kookykev | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | averageausty | 236 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | dandydave | 146 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Doubledinker | 125 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Yesu | 122 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | kookykev | 88 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kookykev | +2.26 | 71 | 51 |
| #2 | Yesu | +0.24 | 48 | 55 |
| #3 | Doubledinker | -0.09 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | boogiebenny | -0.11 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | riskyray | -0.73 | 59 | 65 |





