








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1350 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1335 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1297 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1505 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $734,272 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robmaster | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Multi | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | kookykev | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | riskyray | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | glueguy | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | glueguy | 49% | 49 |
| #6 | ʀɪɴ$ᴇᴅ | 45% | 33 |
| #7 | Yesu | 45% | 53 |
| #8 | dandydave | 45% | 29 |
| #9 | boogiebenny | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glueguy | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | dandydave | 6 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Multi | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Robmaster | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | ʀɪɴ$ᴇᴅ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glueguy | 138 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | riskyray | 87 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | dandydave | 86 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Yesu | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | ʀɪɴ$ᴇᴅ | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kookykev | +1.88 | 67 | 52 |
| #2 | riskyray | +1.80 | 60 | 68 |
| #3 | Robmaster | +1.40 | 48 | 48 |
| #4 | Filth | +1.33 | 67 | 42 |
| #5 | boogiebenny | +0.86 | 67 | 61 |





