










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2882 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1877 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3053 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 157 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,127,668 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riskyray | 50% | 42 |
| #2 | Filth | 45% | 29 |
| #3 | kookykev | 44% | 59 |
| #4 | boogiebenny | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | Doubledinker | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kookykev | 44% | 59 |
| #4 | boogiebenny | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | Doubledinker | 42% | 48 |
| #6 | Yesu | 41% | 76 |
| #7 | averageausty | 38% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | averageausty | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Yesu | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | kookykev | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | boogiebenny | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Filth | 4 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | averageausty | 202 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Yesu | 131 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | riskyray | 114 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Doubledinker | 104 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | boogiebenny | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kookykev | +2.00 | 75 | 49 |
| #2 | Yesu | +1.15 | 48 | 52 |
| #3 | Filth | +0.93 | 73 | 52 |
| #4 | Doubledinker | +0.49 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | riskyray | +0.39 | 58 | 71 |





