








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 816 | 9% |
| Smokes | 2996 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1999 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2944 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,146,651 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Fabo | 42% | 66 |
| #7 | PDXconfus1on | 42% | 168 |
| #8 | Der 3. Weg | 42% | 144 |
| #9 | Guido Cuntz | 39% | 147 |
| #10 | SKiiP | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zer0 | 42 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Der 3. Weg | 28 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Sgt. Pfeffer | 25 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | PDXconfus1on | 24 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Guido Cuntz | 22 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zer0 | 392 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #2 | Der 3. Weg | 219 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Guido Cuntz | 161 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Chrizzle.exe | 84 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sgt. Pfeffer | 76 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chrizzle.exe | +2.75 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | Fabo | +2.52 | 80 | 53 |
| #3 | SKiiP | +1.06 | 39 | 42 |
| #4 | PDXconfus1on | +0.74 | 67 | 25 |
| #5 | VERSPEISEN SIE ARSCH? | +0.56 | 59 | 28 |





