








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1010 | 20% |
| Smokes | 714 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1712 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1557 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,509 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sgt. Pfeffer | 40% | 50 |
| #5 | Der 3. Weg | 40% | 90 |
| #6 | LilClerck | 39% | 147 |
| #7 | SKiiP | 37% | 19 |
| #8 | PDXconfus1on | 33% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der 3. Weg | 142 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | LilClerck | 54 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | Sgt. Pfeffer | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chrizzle.exe | 15 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | PDXconfus1on | 13 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VERSPEISEN SIE ARSCH? | +1.66 | 64 | 23 |
| #2 | Chrizzle.exe | +1.64 | 65 | 60 |
| #3 | Sgt. Pfeffer | +1.43 | 48 | 37 |
| #4 | PDXconfus1on | +1.18 | 65 | 19 |
| #5 | SKiiP | +0.71 | 44 | 40 |





