








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1548 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 975 | 28% |
| Smokes | 949 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 965 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 542 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $677,115 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | Tommy | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | El Philli | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | siu | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Walter White | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlixVacson | 13 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Findus | 8 | 0.0177 |
| #3 | Walter White | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | siu | 4 | 0.0146 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlixVacson | 152 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 126 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Walter White | 116 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tralalero Tralala | 92 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | El Philli | 56 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | +3.30 | 79 | 42 |
| #2 | Tommy | +3.02 | 86 | 68 |
| #3 | Tralalero Tralala | +1.87 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | don one deag padre mapcleaner | +1.72 | 74 | 51 |
| #5 | siu | +1.37 | 78 | 35 |





