








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2829 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3153 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1985 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2214 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,021,521 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xardas PL | 52% | 152 |
| #2 | BajcepsPumpa | 50% | 256 |
| #3 | Bolec | 50% | 253 |
| #4 | ifryt | 50% | 249 |
| #5 | Robson | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BajcepsPumpa | 50% | 256 |
| #3 | Bolec | 50% | 253 |
| #4 | ifryt | 50% | 249 |
| #5 | Robson | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | Player45136 | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolec | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ifryt | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | BajcepsPumpa | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Xardas PL | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolec | 743 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #2 | ifryt | 523 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | BajcepsPumpa | 213 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | Xardas PL | 146 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Player45136 | 21 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiraT | +1.79 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | BajcepsPumpa | +1.14 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | Bolec | -0.18 | 39 | 78 |
| #4 | Xardas PL | -2.09 | 46 | 46 |
| #5 | ifryt | -2.90 | 19 | 65 |





