








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4186 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5054 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4218 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4372 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $929,155 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xardas PL | 51% | 240 |
| #2 | PiraT | 50% | 253 |
| #3 | ifryt | 49% | 342 |
| #4 | BajcepsPumpa | 49% | 355 |
| #5 | Owl | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiraT | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | BajcepsPumpa | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ifryt | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Xardas PL | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Robson | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiraT | 679 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | ifryt | 675 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #3 | BajcepsPumpa | 296 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | Xardas PL | 287 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Robson | 148 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiraT | +2.23 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Owl | +2.11 | 60 | 68 |
| #3 | dabidibam | +2.09 | 49 | 61 |
| #4 | BajcepsPumpa | +1.42 | 67 | 56 |
| #5 | Bolec | +0.14 | 40 | 77 |





