








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2086 | 44% |
| Smokes | 798 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 929 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 946 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $595,036 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swag Messiah | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Mike Pence's Adderall | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | brat | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Tyrone with the Blicky | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Stinger | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swag Messiah | +2.21 | 67 | 66 |
| #2 | Mike Pence's Adderall | +1.64 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | Rat Stinky Ass | +0.51 | 65 | 66 |
| #4 | brat | +0.04 | 57 | 47 |
| #5 | Tyrone with the Blicky | -0.41 | 71 | 59 |





