








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1793 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1178 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 827 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 580 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,883 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Pence's Adderall | 350 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Swag Messiah | 245 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Rat Stinky Ass | 100 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Daddy Rat | 93 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tyrone with the Blicky | 67 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swag Messiah | +1.83 | 65 | 66 |
| #2 | brat | +1.50 | 61 | 55 |
| #3 | Mike Pence's Adderall | +1.14 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | King Karma | -0.95 | 76 | 68 |
| #5 | Tyrone with the Blicky | -1.07 | 70 | 58 |





