








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4166 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3641 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2145 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3251 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,065,710 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DBZ VEGETA | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Rat Stinky Ass | 55% | 93 |
| #3 | Swag Messiah | 49% | 393 |
| #4 | Mike Pence's Adderall | 48% | 440 |
| #5 | Daddy Rat | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swag Messiah | +2.88 | 69 | 65 |
| #2 | Mike Pence's Adderall | +1.78 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | Rat Stinky Ass | +1.04 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | brat | +0.56 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | DBZ VEGETA | +0.46 | 77 | 70 |





