








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 189 | 13% |
| Smokes | 334 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 439 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 508 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $490,736 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kixetic | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | mutant | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | chester | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | RocKin | 51% | 91 |
| #5 | TwentySeven | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RocKin | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | TwentySeven | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | mutant | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | kixetic | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RocKin | 321 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | chester | 69 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | mutant | 64 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | kixetic | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ryan | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryan | +3.39 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | cole | +2.83 | 63 | 52 |
| #3 | kixetic | +1.31 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | RocKin | +1.30 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | chester | -0.57 | 43 | 64 |





