








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2916 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2881 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2810 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2952 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $330,779 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | despotz | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | soupisfood | 65% | 37 |
| #3 | Serano | 56% | 124 |
| #4 | fro | 54% | 177 |
| #5 | Abu Nasir | 54% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | fro | 54% | 177 |
| #5 | Abu Nasir | 54% | 142 |
| #6 | ElNinoJESUS- | 50% | 72 |
| #7 | Jarmen Kell | 47% | 180 |
| #8 | soupisfood | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarmen Kell | 21 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Abu Nasir | 19 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | fro | 18 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Serano | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | soupisfood | 5 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarmen Kell | 494 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Abu Nasir | 472 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Serano | 234 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | fro | 229 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | soupisfood | 114 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soupisfood | +2.73 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | soupisfood | +2.60 | 68 | 72 |
| #3 | Serano | +2.19 | 89 | 64 |
| #4 | despotz | +2.17 | 77 | 38 |
| #5 | Abu Nasir | +1.34 | 77 | 65 |





