








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3643 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3549 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2860 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2195 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,400 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 590 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soupisfood | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | fro | 55% | 128 |
| #3 | vestibiulis | 54% | 142 |
| #4 | Serano | 53% | 186 |
| #5 | Jarmen Kell | 49% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | fro | 55% | 128 |
| #3 | vestibiulis | 54% | 142 |
| #4 | Serano | 53% | 186 |
| #5 | Jarmen Kell | 49% | 182 |
| #6 | ElNinoJESUS- | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vestibiulis | 22 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Jarmen Kell | 21 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | fro | 18 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Serano | 15 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | ElNinoJESUS- | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarmen Kell | 480 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Serano | 385 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | vestibiulis | 281 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | fro | 145 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | soupisfood | 66 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soupisfood | +2.84 | 66 | 68 |
| #2 | Serano | +1.18 | 88 | 62 |
| #3 | vestibiulis | +1.18 | 66 | 76 |
| #4 | Abu Nasir | +0.74 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | fro | -0.75 | 56 | 57 |





