








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,307 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4365 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4550 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2946 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3446 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,848,413 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 919 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eh-_^plus | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | 💀 | 57% | 87 |
| #3 | Yordaddy | 53% | 116 |
| #4 | MyNameJeff | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Exoskeletal | 52% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrantt- | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | PattapPat | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | zzzounce | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Yordaddy | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | 💀 | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrantt- | 1036 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | Exoskeletal | 359 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Rokk | 357 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | PattapPat | 349 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | 💀 | 183 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 💀 | +3.27 | 93 | 57 |
| #2 | Exoskeletal | +2.91 | 78 | 74 |
| #3 | Rokk | +2.13 | 75 | 71 |
| #4 | MyNameJeff | +2.08 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | Rokk2 | +1.79 | 72 | 64 |





