








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 497 | 32% |
| Smokes | 487 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 309 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 261 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $109,641 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpudNinja | 42% | 19 |
| #2 | Turbo Fingerz | 38% | 29 |
| #3 | Skeevy Nicks | 28% | 76 |
| #4 | McDubbies | 25% | 36 |
| #5 | Matt | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skeevy Nicks | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | McDubbies | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Turbo Fingerz | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skeevy Nicks | 150 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Turbo Fingerz | 56 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Matt | 54 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #4 | McDubbies | 53 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | SpudNinja | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turbo Fingerz | +5.83 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | Matt | +3.19 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | SpudNinja | +3.12 | 70 | 56 |
| #4 | McDubbies | +2.39 | 82 | 58 |
| #5 | La Fiamma | -2.18 | 54 | 30 |





