








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 619 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 352 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3454 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3857 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3492 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2063 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,777,025 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 333 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Guru | 47% | 97 |
| #11 | austin_hillemily | 45% | 33 |
| #12 | noxin | 44% | 25 |
| #13 | Pheeeelop | 42% | 88 |
| #14 | SLaYRDreW | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | detrho | 245 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | boomer bob | 192 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Guru | 171 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Pheeeelop | 158 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | SLaYRDreW | 143 | 0.20 | 4 min |





