








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6219 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3919 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4918 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5715 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,825,914 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 710 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 51% | 73 |
| #8 | newb | 48% | 52 |
| #9 | Shama | 48% | 46 |
| #10 | YAKUB | 47% | 97 |
| #11 | skl_tv | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boomer bob | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | YAKUB | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Shama | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Tugg Speedman | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 406 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | detrho | 284 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | YAKUB | 221 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | boomer bob | 196 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Tugg Speedman | 148 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | +1.78 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | Tugg Speedman | +1.04 | 89 | 60 |
| #3 | YAKUB | +1.01 | 85 | 54 |
| #4 | skl_tv | +0.87 | 77 | 50 |
| #5 | Guru | +0.75 | 85 | 59 |





