








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 359 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,767 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3355 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3568 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4014 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3830 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,170,480 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skl_tv | 52% | 65 |
| #2 | detrho | 51% | 63 |
| #3 | Guru | 44% | 36 |
| #4 | Tugg Speedman | 44% | 54 |
| #5 | boomer bob | 44% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tugg Speedman | 44% | 54 |
| #5 | boomer bob | 44% | 71 |
| #6 | Sid | 43% | 65 |
| #7 | YAKUB | 42% | 88 |
| #8 | noxin | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skl_tv | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | detrho | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Tugg Speedman | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | YAKUB | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | boomer bob | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YAKUB | 232 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | detrho | 188 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | skl_tv | 126 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tugg Speedman | 114 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sid | 113 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tugg Speedman | +0.71 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | Pheeeelop | +0.54 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | Guru | +0.43 | 84 | 57 |
| #4 | Sid | +0.30 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | skl_tv | +0.13 | 76 | 59 |





