








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 653 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 500 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4431 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3056 | 15% |
| Smokes | 6428 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5956 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4563 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,360,861 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 682 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jemm | 57% | 76 |
| #2 | t1nyteo | 55% | 149 |
| #3 | Vaxine | 51% | 90 |
| #4 | Andryscik | 51% | 305 |
| #5 | Snakyflower861 | 50% | 461 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Vaxine | 51% | 90 |
| #4 | Andryscik | 51% | 305 |
| #5 | Snakyflower861 | 50% | 461 |
| #6 | G!B | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | bitstern | 37% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jemm | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Andryscik | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Snakyflower861 | 4 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | G!B | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Vaxine | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andryscik | 538 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jemm | 178 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vaxine | 175 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Snakyflower861 | 170 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #5 | t1nyteo | 168 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jemm | +3.55 | 79 | 54 |
| #2 | G!B | +2.55 | 49 | 45 |
| #3 | t1nyteo | +2.13 | 62 | 54 |
| #4 | Andryscik | +0.26 | 64 | 43 |
| #5 | Vaxine | +0.11 | 41 | 60 |





