








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 624 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4827 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5999 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6844 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5960 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,023,180 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1079 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Snakyflower861 | 52% | 127 |
| #5 | Sphiinxy | 51% | 422 |
| #6 | Skydog | 51% | 90 |
| #7 | G!B | 43% | 92 |
| #8 | ursadcat | 42% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sphiinxy | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | ursadcat | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Volurex | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | G!B | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Skydog | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ursadcat | 798 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | Sphiinxy | 460 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #3 | Skydog | 200 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Volurex | 64 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | G!B | 63 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G!B | +1.10 | 52 | 45 |
| #2 | Volurex | +0.98 | 66 | 44 |
| #3 | Vaxine | +0.71 | 46 | 59 |
| #4 | Snakyflower861 | -0.36 | 39 | 41 |
| #5 | Skydog | -0.49 | 48 | 46 |





