








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 929 | 27% |
| Smokes | 936 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 753 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 802 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $228,530 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Morbius | 90% | 21 |
| #2 | hajonnutkengäntekijä | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | walle | 70% | 23 |
| #4 | Baba Yaga | 69% | 29 |
| #5 | Uzman | 65% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SINI♡ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | キリンドクター | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Pate vaa (= | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Baba Yaga | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | walle | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SINI♡ | 212 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | GAYLORD | 172 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | キリンドクター | 156 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Baba Yaga | 76 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tane | 69 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nokia | +2.83 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | Tane | +2.82 | 91 | 61 |
| #3 | SINI♡ | +0.91 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | Baba Yaga | +0.78 | 77 | 69 |
| #5 | Pate vaa (= | +0.13 | 79 | 61 |





